It may be one of the questions parents most anticipate — but do we really know how to answer it?
Sexuality is a topic that makes most of us uncomfortable, especially when we think about discussing it with children.
Many parents try to address it indirectly — using nicknames for private parts or simplifying the process so much that it stops making sense. Others avoid the topic altogether, believing that if sex and reproduction are never mentioned, the questions will never come. A 14-year-old once told me that his parents had never talked to him about sex — so he had to figure it out on his own.
As a psychologist, my advice to parents is to take time to consider each stage of a child’s development, introducing aspects of sexuality progressively as they grow and understand more. As a Christian, my advice is even simpler: always tell the truth.
Who Are We Really Protecting?
When we feel the urge to “protect” our children from the topic of sexuality, we must remember that God did not make a mistake in how He created us. It’s impossible to read the Bible with our children without encountering the question: How did God choose for human beings to multiply?
Many times, we avoid or distort the science of reproduction because we assume our children will feel uncomfortable. In reality, it’s often our own discomfort and shame that we’re trying to avoid.
Calling Things by Their Name
A simple way to begin this conversation is to be proactive long before the question arises. You can start by teaching your children the correct names for body parts from the beginning.
Why do so many parents use nicknames for reproductive organs? Doing so distorts reality and limits a healthy understanding of sexuality right from the start.
We shouldn’t be afraid to explain that human beings reproduce through sex — that it is an intimate act between a man and a woman, and that’s why we have reproductive organs.
Children should understand from a young age that sex is nothing to be ashamed of or to ignore, because it is a gift from God. If we approach the subject with embarrassment when they are small, they will likely carry that same shame into their own sexual development later on.
Ongoing Conversations
This shouldn’t be a one-time talk that answers the big question once and for all. It should be about building a relationship of trust that keeps the conversation open.
Don’t wait until your children are older to talk about sex. They need to clearly understand — even from a young age — that while sex is something reserved for married couples, it’s also something they can learn about openly. Knowing the truth about reproduction prepares them to develop a healthy, biblical understanding of sexuality later in life.
The most important conversations often happen naturally — not in planned moments, but in the flow of daily trust and connection.
Topics like sexuality need more space than a single talk can provide. Between ages 2 and 4, children can learn the correct names for private parts. By 5 or 6, they can understand that babies come from a sexual relationship between two people and grow in a woman’s womb.
When truth, clarity, and trust are established early, it becomes much easier to have deeper, more complex conversations in adolescence and adulthood.
What your children don’t learn at home — under your guidance — they will seek out from friends, social media, or elsewhere. Reflecting the character of Christ means responding with grace and truth: grace, so our children don’t have to discover these things alone, and truth, so we guide them faithfully.
When you feel the temptation to disguise, delay, or avoid the topic of sexuality and reproduction, remind yourself: it’s not about your comfort — it’s about being a faithful steward of truth with the children God has entrusted to you.