As we sat to talk about what was really going on her life, she began to choke back the tears as she realized just how lost she was as a mother and a wife. There were parts of her life that had gotten out of control that led her to be on a Zoom call with a stranger, opening up the most shameful and dark parts of her heart in hopes of finding freedom. As we pushed through the superficial complexities of her living situation into the deeper weeds of relational drama, it became clear that strong beliefs like roots in her soul were nurturing the chaos. Could she change her situation? No. Could she automatically be free of what bound her? Not quite. But as we waded into the depths of her murky circumstances, we discovered that several beliefs were keeping her stuck in place.
Beliefs are formed when our experiences mold our hearts and minds to expect something. For many of us, we think of beliefs as they pertain to God but we also have beliefs about ourselves and how this world works. Most often, these beliefs begin as seeds that are planted somewhere in our childhood and are fertilized by reaffirming circumstances, comments, or interactions that cause the roots to grow deeper. Identifying the origin of your beliefs does not automatically turn into freedom, but you cannot get to a new place if you are completely unaware of how you got to your present. It can take many hours of conversation and introspection to arrive at a single phrase that summarizes the crippling beliefs that keep us from taking steps in a direction that our hearts long to go. Once this belief can be summarized, it can also be changed. When beliefs are ambiguous and mysterious we will never be free of them.
Today is a good day to start with by analyzing how you are experiencing your life and how the belief beneath it all could be keeping you stuck in the mud. To get there, you will most likely need help. If the journey seems too confusing and you aren’t sure where to start, begin with asking for help. Like a flashlight to light up a darkened path, finding someone to walk with you can be your next right step. Like the woman who arrived at our online session with nothing but tears, chaos and confusion, clarity comes when we make sense of our stories that are written by the pens of our own beliefs. Once we could name the beliefs and understand their origin, we were able to develop new beliefs that she could be put on as an oversized coat that made little sense in her current circumstances. But, after this initial phase of putting on the new beliefs that are founded in truth, she grew into the belief that took her straight out of the weeds. To get there, maybe your next step is to simply ask for help.